Alone in My Best Life

Photo by Aman Upadhyay on Unsplash

Written last July 2022

I’m not lonely. This is the season life is teaching me right now. Yes, I am alone. I am learning to step out of my comfort zone, even when it means stepping out alone.

I was always an “I’ll join whoever asks me to join” person. So all of the things I wanted to do, I couldn’t because I was waiting for them to jump with me. But then, it isn’t so lonely stepping out alone. Yes, for a while–it is daunting, and terrifying to stand in the center of the room, not knowing anyone, not knowing who to run to for assurance. But that is the beauty of being alone, you are in the center of the room, and you do not know anyone. You learn to lean on yourself for assurance.

I have lived out both lives–being alone and being lonely. Being alone is terrifying, but I get to live my best life. I get to make my dreams into reality. In reality, I find it more terrifying not to live my best life and feel lonely. To be with the people I have been with my whole life, but not share the same passions and interests — and ignoring those desires for them — is another death in itself.