Falling for Him Should Have Been Easy
Falling for him should have been easy. But you weren’t there to catch me.
But I guess it was my fault.
No one told me to fall for you. You didn’t lead me on.
But whenever I saw you, my heart began to race erratically and illogically. Whenever your eyes lay sight of me, we exchange nothing but simple pleasantries, as we have always done. A simple smile to greet each other’s presence. There were no late-night conversations, no flirting around, no wrapping your arms around my shoulder, no joking about us ending up together. There was nothing.
And somehow, whenever your name comes up, whenever I see you, I’m thankful for the mask covering my reactions. But I don’t know, the eyes can tell so much if you look into it. And I’m grateful we never do.
But then there were the jokes, your name being brought up in conversation with our mutual friends. How you were still single, how you were ready to settle down. How, if I want to, they can set us up together.
But then, I put my walls back up. We have known each other our whole lives. And the only reason I am not against the idea is we don’t know each other that well.
I was hoping for a friends-to-lovers trope, but I turn away every guy friend who becomes a little too close.
Maybe I should take the first step, maybe ask you out for a cup of coffee.
Falling for you should be easy. If only I had the guts to jump.
Falling for him should have been easy, if only you were there to catch me.
And there it was: the moment I knew I could never be yours, and you would never be mine.
Because now I see, the way you look at her is the way I look at you. And they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I knew in your eyes, that it wasn’t me.
It wasn’t obvious, of course. But then the way you were always by her side when you never noticed her before, and the way you laugh at her jokes and join her in her random activities. You were not mine; you were never mine. And seeing you with her, made me finally face the truth.
Thank God I didn’t fall for you, was the lie I told myself. Because you were busy falling for someone else.
