This time, I have an answer. Well, kind of.
Four years ago, I contributed to a book with a memoir entitled, “How do you know what you’re supposed to do next?” with the thoughts of my friends graduating college and not knowing the next step to take.
The year was 2020. Everything and everyone was on lockdown. Life as we knew it was completely different. We lost jobs and mourned for family we never thought we’d lose. We discovered bigger dreams and chased higher stake. And although we grieved for the certainty of death, we welcomed the uncertainty of what the future holds.
So now, there is still the question post-pandemic question, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
When I was younger, I dreaded that question. I’d blink my eyes, and calm my shaking leg. I never knew the answer to it, albeit no right or wrong. I just knew I couldn’t see that far.
And I was right.
In college and on my job interviews, I faked my way through the answer, “Probably still teaching, and taking my master’s degree or finished with it by five years’ time.”
And then the pandemic hit, and I learned to answer the question, but with no signs of my loyalty to them, but with the assurance of staying in the profession I can call my passion. “Still teaching, still writing, still learning.” This pleased the interviewers, it showed how much I value my career, but vague enough to acknowledge how I have no certainty of what can happen in the future.
But now? I have a picture — clearer. But it’s still missing some pieces I don’t mind filling in later.
Maybe, in five years’ time, I see myself in the arms who chased God because he was chasing me, in a home eating some steak he probably made while I pour out tea. On the other side of the table, a little kid talking about what game he wants to play at the park. We stroll by town, holding hands, and eat our lunch at the lake. A perfectly slow day.
But who knows? I am quite the dreamer, and maybe God will wake me up to the reality He has in store for me.
But the future is starting to be clearer, and while I’m enjoying the now, God is preparing me for the next five years.
And with the vague uncertainty of it all, at least there is the assured promise He will be with me.
