Worthy Enough?
Written last 2019
Coffee house. Saturday night.
We were watching the window as the rain pours down, as we hear the thunder rollover. We both sip our coffees.
I watch you look torn. Your eyes are filled with sadness, and I can your heart is shattered. Closing my fists, you sense the anger boil inside me and wait for me to calm down. You take a sip of your coffee as I ask you a question. A question, that has always been on my mind, and a question you always have the same answer for.
“Why do you want to be with her? She has done nothing but hurt you.”
“But I love her.”
“That does not mean she deserves your love. She is not worthy of your love.” I retorted, with venom and hatred spitting out of each word that I say.
You sigh. “I know that.”
“But?” I wait for your answer.
“I don’t love her because of her worth anyway.”
You take another sip of coffee as I wait for you to finish your thoughts.
“She has been mean to me, I agree. She has treated me with nothing but cruelty and has taken me for granted. She only calls for me when she needs me. And she often forgets me when she doesn’t need me. It’s as if I’m just a genie in a lamp.”
Another sigh comes out of your lips.
“I also know the one-night stands and the affairs she tried to hide for me. I know that when she beats me up, it is usually because I don’t want to give her what she wants. I know that it will harm her.”
I ask another question, one that has been on my mind a thousand times, but one that I never truly understood.
“Why don’t you just leave her? She’s not worth your love.”
You look me in the eye. Like you always do when you want to communicate something important.
“I know she’s not worth my love. But that doesn’t mean I’ll stop loving her.”
Silence. Only the raindrops are heard.
“I have loved her and I will continue to love her, even if she doesn’t deserve it.”
…
We are fools.
We are fools if we agree with the saying, “You are worthy enough for God’s love.”
We are fools if we believe the popular belief, “You are worthy in God’s eyes that Christ has died for you.”
Where does the Bible say that we are worthy enough?
We do not deserve God’s love at all. Saying that we deserve our salvation and God’s love, is as if we are saying that we approve of the abusive relationship happening between our friend and his lover as we read earlier.
No, we are not worthy.
Worthy is working hard to make the relationship work. Worthy is having no one night stands with our idols, no affairs with our sins, and being focused on being completely in love with God every day, with no desire to break up or cheat with him.
We are not worthy.
Our generation has focused on loving ourselves so much that we have compromised the Gospel along with it. We think that we are worthy of God’s love, and God’s cross, that we forget that’s not the reason why Christ was sent on this earth.
Friend, we are unworthy. Jesus died for us because we are not worth His love. We are not worthy to have a relationship with Him. Saying we are worthy of God to have a relationship with us is as if we are saying that it is okay to have an open-ended non-committed, abusive, taken-for-granted relationship with our husband or wife.
We are not worthy.
The only reason why God sent His Son to die for us is that He loves us. It is not because we are worthy. The only reason why God wants to have a committed and intimate relationship with us is that He loves us. It is NOT because we are worthy.
If you ask me the truth, we will never be worthy.
We will never be worthy when it comes to our hard work.
But. God.
It is God who makes us worthy. Not us.
Jesus did not die for us because we are worthy.
Rather, we are worthy because Jesus died for us.
Dear, please remember.
We are not worthy. We will never be worthy.
Only God makes us worthy. Not the other way around.
Ephesians 2:8
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing, it is the gift of God. Not a result of works so that no one may boast.
